Uludamu | ooh-loo-dam-moo |
noun – ginger; plural noun – gingers
I often feel like an island. I feel like my thoughts are isolated from nearly everyone else. I have always felt that, and one of the few things that has been a constant in my life. My mind is almost always active, moving to different thoughts like my mum’s knitting needles weaving in and out when she’s in full flow. It can be pretty unsettling if it leads to uncomfortable decisions or actions, and it can be freeing and gratifying in equal measure too.
It is very easy to fall in line in every facet of your life. The ‘norm’ is a well-trodden path, and like a vinyl record, the needle easily finds its place in the grooves. An element of doing things automatically can occur and with that can come a lack of thinking and unbecoming.
Keeping you authenticity
You can lose your authenticity. Growing up with bright red hair made me stick out almost instantly. My dad was a redhead too; ‘Rusty Ryan’ as he was known to his mates. Even if you don’t want to, you stand out like a Belisha beacon at a zebra crossing.
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I have always liked having red hair even before I got too many bangs on the head playing rugby. In a way it gave me an introduction to being true to oneself. It made me feel vulnerable. Feeling vulnerable is not a feeling that sits easily when growing up as a kid, but it did help me grow that belief that I needed to be myself, that I needed to be authentic. Over the years, this feeling has been tested; tests you don’t always pass but ones you certainly learn and grow from. The personal tests growing up I will leave for another day (or for the book’s release in May!) but many of the brightest moments in my career to date have come from learning these lessons.
Becoming an island
A memory came up on my Facebook timeline this week; four years ago was my last tournament with England 7s, the Rugby World Cup 7s in Moscow. It was a WEIRD week. That season was a huge lesson. We had a poor year on the field with injuries and unavailability contributing, and although we still won one leg of the World Series and had some notable wins, it disappointed us all. I was under pressure from above at the Rugby Football Union. I had ex coaches and ‘pundits’ writing negative stuff that became pretty personal. I felt unsupported and misunderstood. I was back to being an island. A shit island that no one wanted to visit.
I lost my authenticity for most of that year. I got it back in those weeks before Moscow and felt a freedom of thought alongside an embarrassment of how I had been, with fellow management especially. I was treated badly as I left my position with England 7s, but ultimately, I got back to being the kid with the bright red hair and being the one thing you should never fail at; being yourself.
Obstacles or signposts?
I think often that the obstacles in our path are actually our paths.
Sometimes it is about removing all those things that aren’t you and bringing yourself back to who perhaps you were always meant to be.
Be ferociously authentic. Don’t waste time pretending, or not being true to yourself. It will not be an easy journey; people might disapprove, but it will make your life come to life.
39 Comments. Leave new
Love it Ben And i do agree, Dear Dear Ben I agree Authenticity is a Key, and very difficult to hold on to, or stay true to. Cant wait for more. Take care Life is good
Hey Klaus, yes – it’s one of the hardest things to keep authentic especially when difficulties or issues pop up but for me, if I keep in mind that being myself is the best way to deal with anything that comes my way then it helps – most of the time!
Thank you Ben as for us kaiviti you will always be special uludamu or not, that was for what you did for our ways of playing rugby 7s…..veilomani
Vinaka Eddie – glad you are enjoying the blogs and thanks for taking the time to be part of the conversation.
Wananavu!
Hey Rups – vinaka and levu lolomas from lodoni!
Bula vinaka Ratu Peni!
Felt teary eyes when reading this piece. Your ” island that no one wanted to visit ” became the island of joy happiness and hope for many …for the eight hundred thousand Fijians at least
Bula Isireli. It did indeed. From a time that was difficult and unhappy – the next road was to fiji and in many ways a redirection for my authenticity. The people, the land and the players gave me that.
Excellent read Ben!
Vinaka Lorraine
Your fijianisation has really brought out the best of you and it makes me love that uludamuness more. Authentic, genuine, free. Best wishes
Hey Joana. Fijianisation is an awesome word!! It did bring out my true self and grateful for that. Sometimes realising exactly what you stand for and believe in also has its costs and difficult decisions but ultimately it leads you to your best version. Lolomas, peni
Thank you for these words, it echoes how I was feeling and what I needed to hear to embark on a new journey. Vinaka
Hi Milika. Vinaka and if the blog has helped even one person then I’m really happy. Lolomas,
Ben
I can relate to this pretty closely Ben. Enjoying reading your stuff .
Cheers Billy and glad I strike a chord. Often we all have the same challenges just packaged a little bit differently.
On reflections after reading your blog an island is good ’cause you can see the 360 of the horizon much clearer… keep it coming.
This is true. It’s finding that vision rather than feeling that isolation.
I like this quote..”Be ferociously authentic. Don’t waste time pretending, or not being true to yourself. It will not be an easy journey; people might disapprove, but it will make your life come to life.”….
…vinaka Ben
Thank-you. It’s hard being authentic but it can also lead you to the path you really want to be on
Encouraging stuff Ratu Ben….u always know how to lift spirits and be motivated and to trust yourself. #veilomani
Vinaka Sorby.
Vinaka Ratu Ryan.can I ask where will your book be released,will it be here in the UK ?.Looking forward to it.
Bula Isikia. The book gets a global launch next month so you will be able to get it in the UK then
Hi Ben
At present in Lubersac in France a helping on Pierre Villepreux Plaisir du Mouvement . Always a pleasure to share in a real community rugby event , no elitism just sharing knowledge and enjoying the company and contributions from the local community, the fellowship of coaches. The players at the centre of all the coaching. Fond memories of our time in Oxford. Love to meet up sometime soon. Lynn
That sounds awesome Lynn. Fond memories from me too and love to catch up soon
Great blog Ben and very interesting, probably like many I can relate to many of your points. I recently learnt a lesson about rugby and being true to yourself and I concluded from the lesson to trust yourself and be honest with your opinions. Good luck Andy
Cheers Andy. Yep, you can learn a lot from some of the obstacles you will have faced – sounds like you learnt some great stuff to take you even further forward. Brilliant
Excellent Ben, looking forward to future episodes of the blog. It’s so true, be authentic, believe in yourself and you won’t go wrong. It’s when we believe in what others say that things go wrong. DREAM. BELIEVE. ACHIEVE
Very true Brenda – lovely to hear from you. If you’re authentic and you can be compassionate to those around you – it’s a great start!
Awesome read and well written Ratu Peni. Authenticity is what lacking in most people and societies these days. You higlight it well. You’re the beautiful island!
Seru.
(Hereford, UK)
Vinaka Seru and thanks for taking the time to write. Hope all is well and yes, it’s not always the easiest path to be authentic but it’s the only one worth travelling on.
Totally agree, great post Ben! All the best from Italy
Ale
Thanks Ale
Your stories gives us an edge and encourages always..levu vinaka ratu peni
Vinaka Ratu. Love this bit “Sometimes it is about removing all those things that aren’t you and bringing yourself back to who perhaps you were always meant to be.”
I had seen this when you wrote it and I saved the link on my Twitter, only to find it today.
Significant, as every word echoes in my heart! Thank you Ben- Im glad Im not the only island out there!
Encouraging and enlightening Mr Ryan …loved it!
I have a developing young sevens club back home as I reside in Edinburgh now. I keep coping and paste every article you put up , as this youths really need it as a learning experience for them and more to myself . You’re truly an amazing author of sevens rugby and my Fiji is genuinely blessed to have you.